Telling Lies – Why You Do It, and What It Does to Your Relationships
Telling lies. When you think about it, we all do it, but when you’re struggling with an addiction, sometimes it really feels like that’s all you’re ever doing is telling lies. You lie about what you’ve been doing when you talk to your mom. You lie about that job that you lost. You lie about the reason you look so tired, or thin. Or the reason you’re so sick to your stomach all the time, or why you’re spacy. You lie when you need to leave quickly, and you lie about… well, everything.
It seems that addiction is riddled with lies, and for most people who love you, it’s incredibly frustrating because, at best, you’re confusing them, at worst, you’re making them angry because you think they’re so stupid. The thing is, you don’t even care. You lie when you know that they know you’re doing it, and you might feel bad for a minute, but it’s going to go away soon, anyway.
Why does addiction lead to lying all the time? What is it doing to you to tell all these lies, and what is it doing to your relationships?
You Want to Avoid Having Your Loved One’s Find Out What’s Really Happening
Now, you probably know all too well that a lot of the lying you do is because you just don’t want to deal with it. You don’t want to hear your mom worry or your sister telling you that you’re a loser. You don’t want your dad to get mad. So, you lie, and you hope that it keeps them from asking any other questions for a while, because in a while, you might just be able to have this situation under control.
In fact, that’s probably the biggest reason you aren’t honest, and you know it, but what causes you to be this way? Very simply – and you know this, too – it’s your addiction. You’re hooked, and it’s bad, but you can’t even be honest with yourself about just how bad it really is. So, you tell yourself, and everyone else that things are all good. But they aren’t.
Another reason that you’re probably telling lies is that you need your family’s support. Whether it’s financially or emotionally, or both, you know that if you tell them you just couldn’t keep your job because you kept stealing from them or just never showed up to work they’ll probably stop giving you money, and they might eventually just get tired of even considering being there for other things, too.
You’re probably thinking you wouldn’t be there for someone like you, so why should they, and you might be right, but you’re embracing an ashamed way of thinking and this isn’t going to help you to want to overcome your addiction very much.
What you Probably Know on Some Level, but Don’t Really Understand
What we’re finding out about addiction now is that it literally causes some of the more cautious, conscience-driven parts of your brain to go to sleep. When you’re high or drunk, your conscience is on vacation, and everyone can tell. The reward center of the brain is in control at this point, and loss of inhibitions is the co-pilot. This is part of the reason why you’re always telling lies and don’t remember them. You really don’t care at that moment that you’re telling some of the most outrageous stories you can come up with, and chances are, you won’t remember them anyway, so who cares, right?
Then, when you’re having cravings and urges, your brain thinks you’re dying, so it’s going to shut off the nice part of your brain and make you want to stop at nothing to get the source of your addiction. This is common, but when you’re struggling with an addiction, you’re also struggling with some pretty substantial, sometimes permanent brain changes. These changes can change who you are. This can be especially true if you started using or drinking because you felt like you just couldn’t keep everyone happy or weren’t good enough.
Drugs and alcohol tend to smother these feelings and make you feel better about yourself for a while, but when you’re not high or drunk, you might find that you feel even worse than you did before. If you have anxiety or depression, you might find that your addiction causes these feelings to intensify and become even more unbearable, which causes you to use or drink more than you were before.
What’s Happening to Your Relationships Because of Your Lies?
Another thing that you might know on some level but not really understand is what’s happening to your relationships right now. Lately, it might seem like nobody believes you and you might be mad about that on the surface, but deep down, you probably understand that you just told too many stories, and you’re running out of excuses.
Your loved ones likely have gotten to the point that they don’t believe you when you say you’re going to start getting clean, because frankly if you’re not in rehab, you’re not telling the truth. They think you’re always high or drunk, which is likely the truth, even when you tell them you’re not. Your loved ones are also getting tired of living with you this way. They love you, sure, because they always will, but they are really getting tired of watching you kill yourself and having to listen to your poor me stories.
They may, or may not understand your addiction, but they just don’t have the finances or emotional reserves to keep worrying about you, and paying for all your mistakes. You need to know that many family members choose to walk away from their addicted loved ones, not because they don’t love them, but because they just cannot deal with the stress and issues that their loved one’s addiction is causing.
Each time your nearest and dearest try to tell you what’s happening to them because of your addiction and you shut them down or tell them that it’s not your problem, you’re pushing them away, but this is what addictions do. They isolate you.
Your lies – even the little ones – push your loved ones even further away and make them not want to be part of your life at all for now.
Making Things Better
The good news is that telling lies isn’t going to last forever. If you choose to start overcoming your addiction and live a clean and sober life that you can be proud of, you’re going to want to embrace honesty, and that will be a refreshing change for your friends and family if you choose to share it with them.
The thing is, no matter what anyone tells you, you have the absolute best chance of overcoming your addiction if you can get into treatment. Rehab is a place that you can go to clear your mind, body, and even your spirit of your addictive actions and behaviors. It’s a place where you can go to learn about self-love and find others like you, who are struggling to get, and stay clean.
You might not know it now, but there are a ton of different rehab options out there for you to choose from. Some of them carry a pretty big price tag, but others aren’t nearly as expensive as you might expect them to be. Plus, lots of rehabs work with insurance, and this can mean a major break in what you’ll have to come up with out of pocket. That’s great news because, for many with addictions, the idea of having to cover the cost of treatment is terrifying.
At Elite Rehab Placement, we know how scary it can be to realize that you’re at the point where you really need help to overcome your addiction. We know what it can feel like to finally realize that you’re out of control and decide you have to fix it. Our compassionate staff understands that you have questions, and that’s why we work to get you answers as soon as possible.
Our insurance experts dig deep into your policy and even call your insurance provider for you to help you get a solid understanding of what treatment will cost. Our addiction specialists get to know you and your preferences, your addiction, and then they pair you up with rehab options that they feel will be a great fit for your budget and your rehab needs.
Maybe, instead of telling lies, you just give us a call and find out how we can help you get to that next step in your recovery journey. Maybe it’s time to tell your addiction that it’s been fun, but it’s time to make some changes. When you’re ready, we’re ready. Give us a call today.