If you’re wondering how to go about loving your grown child despite his addiction, you’re not alone. Sometimes, especially when we deal with a grown child that battles addiction, our kids look so lost and vulnerable. There are times when the substances or alcohol they use or drink make them seem small, lonely and very child-like. This is when it’s the hardest for us to detach, and it’s also a time when loving them through it might be the only possible way to continue having a relationship with your grown child.
If you’ve been coping with your child’s addiction for a while now, you’ve probably gone through all the emotions possible. If he still refuses to seek treatment despite your best efforts to encourage him to do so, you’ve probably figured out how to stop enabling him. This is where having a relationship with your addicted adult child comes in. To be honest, many parents come to a point where they just can’t be part of the daily drama, anger and anxiety that goes along with their grown child’s addiction. So, they let their kid do what he will do, and do their best to offer emotional support and keep their boundaries in place.
This is where loving your grown child comes in
Once parents decide that they are going to let go of the anxiety, doubt and anger that they experience because of their grown child’s addiction, they begin to feel some freedom and peace. They learn to hate their kid’s addiction, but not the kid. They also find that they can maintain a relationship with their grown child even though he has an addiction – and the relationship stays on the parent’s terms.
These steps allow you to go back to simply loving your grown child, even though he battles an addiction. If he sticks with your boundaries, then most of the time you spend with him, he will be clean and sober. This adds to the enjoyment you’ll get out of keeping your child in your life.
For many, it’s a matter of making the choice that’s right for them
Many parents decide that loving their grown child who battles addiction is far more important to them than letting him go completely. They decide that they can live their way without the drama, but keep their child in their hearts and lives. They choose to take the chance that their grown child will show up high or drunk occasionally, and they decide what they will and will not do with their addicted adult child, and they maintain this approach.
When it comes down to the wire, many parents who have grown kids that battle addiction simply decide that they would rather have him in their lives in some capacity than risk losing him. Many parents are forced to to say they never knew their addicted adult child at all.
Loving your grown child despite his addiction is possible, and you may just find that your love eventually encourages him to seek the addiction treatment he really needs. It takes patience and a bit of realism, but for many, this approach helps to soothe the heart and allows a connection that might not be there otherwise.