Letting your loved one go in recovery can be one of the toughest things you’ll ever have to do. How do you know that he’s doing things right and staying clean and sober? How can you tell if he relapses? What if he leaves treatment and says he doesn’t need it anymore? These are all questions that many of us struggle with when our loved ones decide to get started on the road to recovery. It can be a trying time if you have a loved one who battles an addiction, but it turns out that you may be torturing yourself and not helping your loved one in the least.
In fact, whether you know it now or not, your loved one’s recovery journey has to belong to him. He has to be the one to choose to get clean and sober. He has to be the one who decides to change his life and stay on the path to overcoming addiction. No matter how much you want to make this transition for your loved one, you simply can’t, and that’s why letting your loved one go in recovery is one of the best things you can do for him.
Not only that, but you have to be able to heal from his addiction, too. You have to be able to start living your life again, and when you’re able to let your loved one go and do him for a while, you can start focusing on you, and since it’s pretty likely that you’ve neglected yourself quite a lot lately, there is no better time to start taking care of you than when your loved one is seeking addiction treatment.
So, how do you start the process of letting your loved one go in recovery for all the right reasons? It’s not going to be easy, but these tips can help:
- Imagine that your loved one has a one-way phone. Or that he is the only one who can contact you. This way, you’ll be able to avoid pestering him all the time and give him the freedom and time to really miss you. Plus, you’ll be getting busy enjoying the calm of knowing that your loved one is in recovery, so getting desperate with the phone calls shouldn’t be too big of an issue.
- Get busy doing you. You might need some family therapy or even individual therapy to help you come to terms with all the effects of your loved one’s addiction. So get it. In fact, get started doing some things to help you de-stress, live happily and start disconnecting with the trouble of your loved one’s addiction.
- Have a little faith. It’s hard to believe that your loved one is really going to start living clean and sober, but if you can’t control whether he does or not, it makes no sense to worry about it. Instead, try to have a little faith that your loved one is serious this time.
Letting your loved one go in recovery is never an easy thing, but if you’re ever going to learn how to be happy again, even if your loved one doesn’t manage to stay clean this time, it’s time to start cutting the ties and allowing your loved one to finally take matters into his own hands.