Getting Your Life Back – One Day at a Time
How does it sound to think that you might be getting your life back? Wouldn’t it be nice to know that you can finally start to live for you again? Doesn’t it feel good to be able to do what you want to do without having to worry about your loved one and his addiction? Or, it would if you weren’t still living each day to help your loved one, right?
As loved ones of those who battle an addiction, getting our lives back can be one of the toughest things we ever try to do, but it’s also one of the most important things we ever do. Addiction tends to be this all-encompassing thing that we have to deal with, and breaking away from it, even when it’s not yours, can be nothing short of a challenge.
Getting your life back takes time
Chances are, you’re pretty enmeshed with your addicted loved one by now. You’re just as invested in convincing him to get clean and sober as he pretends to be in fixing his life, and you’ve probably given a lot up to try to make things better for your loved one.
For this reason, getting your life back often takes time. You have to learn to disconnect in a way that makes you feel comfortable, and you need to know that you’re not being overly damaging to your addicted loved one, too. In fact, while many believe that taking your life back involves cutting ties with your loved one, it usually isn’t meant to be hurtful to anyone. It’s simply you trying to take care of yourself for a change.
This is why it often takes time to completely get your life back. Remember that much of the time, your addicted loved one is much needier than he should be, and that means that you’re going to want to be firm, but not hurt him. After all, you want to live happily, but you also want your loved one to choose to seek treatment for his addiction.
Day by day is often a better way to look at getting your life back than making a complete and abrupt cut from your loved one’s life.
Keeping things going
When you do start getting your life back, and you can do it in a way that helps you to feel really good about the transition, you’re going to be reluctant to give this up. Good for you. It will allow you to stay firm and protective of your new boundaries, and your addicted loved one will see this, too.
You might even find that with time, your loved one stops asking you for things that you constantly deny, and begins to start trying to build something more concrete and realistic with you.
Getting your life back doesn’t have to be an abrupt change that makes you feel uneasy or sad. It can be something that helps you to become stronger and happier, and still maintain a connection to your addicted loved one that you are in control of.